Overcome Resistance With the Right Questions...

Today I read an interesting article, there were many take aways..hope you will also like it..
http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/01/overcome_resistance_with_the_r.html?cm_mmc=npv-_-MANAGEMENT_TIP-_-MAR_2010-_-MTOD0305&referral=00203

Managers meet resistance every day. The way they handle it often is counterproductive.
Asking a series of easily answered questions will help the other person rethink his assumptions and open up possibilities for agreement.

The idea was first proposed by Socrates in classical Athens some 2,400 years ago. The Socratic Method has helped opposing parties reach agreement ever since, though in today's more confrontational world it's greatly underused. Asking a question like "Why do you say that?" can help you learn the reason why the other person isn't cooperating. The reason might surprise you.

You can easily dig a hole for yourself if you give a facile response to an objection without fully understanding what the other person means.

Socrates put the case for using questioning rather than rapid-fire talking neatly: "Nature has given us two ears, two eyes, and but one tongue — to the end that we should hear and see more than we speak," he said.

Let's get more specific: what kinds of questions should you be asking?
You'll need different kinds of questions for different stages in the discussion. Here's a list of six categories of questions for a Socratic Dialogue, compiled by Richard Paul of the Center for Critical Studies:
Questions that help clarify what the other person means.
Questions that probe assumptions.
Questions that look into the rationale, reasons and evidence the other person's using.
Questions examining viewpoints and perspectives.
Questions that probe implications and consequences.
Questions get to the root of the other person's questions.

Asking the right questions is only the beginning of the process, however. You also have to listen carefully to the answers. Taking a cue from Socrates, you should listen with your eyes as well as your ears because the other person might be saying a lot with body language. Posture and movement can signal interest, openness and involvement — or their lack. If there's a disconnect between what you're hearing and what you're seeing, the other person's body language might have more meaning than the words being spoken.

Make it clear from your own body language that you're listening. It's not enough just to ask the question; you have to hear the answer. Lean forward, look closely at the other person, nod in agreement when appropriate. Paraphrase what you're hearing, to show you're listening — and to be certain that you heard it right.

Finally, as with any other dialogue, you must appeal to both the head and the heart of the other person. It isn't only the soundness of your argument that will determine the dialogue's outcome. Unless you also connect on an emotional level you can't be certain that the agreement you reach will be honored.